supporting separated children
“When I was 14 my dad had such a bad drink problem that he lost his job. He was blind drunk from morning to night. Things started to fall apart. One day the bailiffs came and said our house was going to be repossessed. I was so scared ... I’d heard about the horrible things that happen to kids that live on the streets...My teachers found out and contacted Social Services. The lady from Social Services said that dad was a danger to himself and she arranged for me to be looked after by a foster family while dad was getting help for his alcoholism. I worried about leaving him but Spurgeons helped me. They provided opportunities for me to see dad but in a safe environment.” - ‘Donna’, aged 20
Many children need to be separated from their parents for their own protection and in order to have a safe and happy childhood. Spurgeons supports these children in various ways
learn more
Spurgeons offer the following services for children seperated from their families:
child contact services
Contact centres are meeting places where children from separated families can enjoy contact with one (or both) parents and/or other family members in a comfortable and safe environment. Visits are tailored around the needs of each child. It is estimated that 2,000 children in the UK use Child Contact Centres each week.
independent visitors services
Children and young people being looked after by the local authority can benefit from the friendship and advice offered by a Spurgeons volunteer. All volunteers are fully trained to mentor and befriend a looked after child or young person. Find out more about volunteering.
fast facts
fast facts about children separated from parents
- Children may be separated from one or both of their parents as the result of relationship breakdowns or because parents are unable to provide them with adequate care.
- Some children will have been separated from parents because of distressing experiences including neglect and/or physical and sexual abuse or bereavement.
- Many children are looked after by someone else as the result of a voluntary agreement by their parents or because of a care order.
- The term ‘looked after’ was introduced by the Children Act 1989 and refers to children with care orders and those who are voluntarily accommodated.
- Looked-after children may be placed with other family members, extended family or friends, foster parents or in a care home.
- There are about 60,000 children and young people who are looked after by local authorities in England.[1]
[1] Statistics courtesy of www.poverty.org.uk
get personal
“After my mum and dad got divorced and my mum started seeing another bloke, my dad changed a lot. At first I used to go and see him at weekends and it was sort of alright but he seemed quite spaced out, like he didn’t really know what was going on around him. Then after a couple of weeks he started to get really stressed at me. He’d swear and shout out bad things about my mum and chuck things around the house. Other times when I went to see him he would just ignore me. He didn’t make any dinner or do anything with me.
I told my mum and her new boyfriend about it. They didn’t seem too worried about it and said it would hurt my dad’s feelings if I didn’t go to see him. Then one time when I went to visit, my dad went really strange and said that my mum was brainwashing me and that’s why I didn’t want to see my dad anymore, because of bad things my mum was saying. My dad told me he’d set fire to my mum’s flat if I stopped coming to see him.
When my mum found out she went to the Police for help. After a while it went to court and the courts said my dad shouldn’t see me until he’d got special help from a counsellor. I was sad about being separated from dad because I really love him even though he seemed to be acting a bit crazy. I missed the way he used to be and all the nice things we used to do when we were a family but I was also a bit scared about being on my own with him.
At the moment I see him once a week. I don’t have to go on my own. My mum takes me to a Spurgeons centre where there are people to look after me. Then my dad comes to the centre too and we have a cup of tea and a chat or watch a DVD together. It was frightening when my dad started acting weird but he seems to be getting a bit better and I think one day it will be safe for me to see him on my own again.” – ‘Sam,’ aged 15